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My best friend is literally my favorite. He’s a dick sometimes but I’m lucky to have him in my life. Losing him is going to be the hardest shit ever. 

sn0w72897:

calamity-cain:

geekishchic:

This is how you know they’re actually brothers.

this is my favourite scene in the movie i’m not even kidding

I love this scene the most, because Loki is somewhat trying to help and Thor is just done.

astralangels:


shocking update from updated satellite images reveal missouri does, in fact, not exist

i fucking knew it

astralangels:

shocking update from updated satellite images reveal missouri does, in fact, not exist

i fucking knew it

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad:

    Why the hell did you put a comma there?

  • Dad:

    Do you even know what a participial phrase is?

  • Dad:

    Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.

  • Dad:

    Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?

  • Dad:

    Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.

  • Dad:

    Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.

  • Dad:

    I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.

  • Dad:

    Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.

  • Dad:

    Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.

  • Dad:

    Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.

  • Dad:

    It's like you didn't read the fucking book.

  • Dad:

    Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.

  • Dad:

    *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*

  • Dad:

    My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.

  • Dad:

    Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...

  • Dad:

    Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.

  • Dad:

    I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.

  • Dad:

    Fuck the government.

  • Dad:

    Fuck the school board.

  • Dad:

    Close the door.

  • Dad:

    Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.

  • Dad:

    I love puns.

  • Dad:

    People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.

  • Dad:

    Please shut up.

  • Dad:

    Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.

  • Dad:

    I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.

  • Dad:

    I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.

  • Dad:

    You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.

  • Dad:

    Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.

  • Dad:

    I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.

  • Dad:

    If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.

  • Dad:

    They act like I care what they think.

  • Dad:

    I hate homework.

  • Dad:

    I have decided to become a politician.

  • Dad:

    What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

anatomicalart:

peacake:

necnill:

theprosefool:

He’s yummy but I’m mostly just reblogging because LOOK AT THAT SKILL

DAT SHOULDER LIFT.

why isn’t this an Olympic sport yet?

Who could ask for a better 360° reference

athomewithgaymione:

izzzgirl:

anchorsawaysetsail:

homoarigato:

first kiss: queer women

this is infinitely cuter than that strangers kiss for a clothing label ad or homophobes hug gay people video

This is so adorable and makes me happy

Okay. How is it that none of these people have even met before, but they made this look more convincing and adorable than fucking real people who have been together forever?

Sometimes when people have been together forever, kisses lose their magic, their spark. + these are *first* kisses so it’s a whole new glorious world in finding out how this person in particular kisses and how they like to kiss and how their lips feel

total-queer-move:

LOOK. IT’S EVERY SINGLE STEREOTYPE ABOUT MEN’S RIGHTS ACTIVISTS PUT INTO ONE HANDY-DANDY DEMOGRAPHICS SURVEY SO IT CAN BE STATISTICALLY VALIDATED!! [x]

THANKS R/MENSRIGHTS!!